Asking questions about God requires little. Finding the answers requires effort. Living with those answers requires grace.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Happy Birthday

Today, Macayla turns 7 years old. She is 58 lbs and 52 inches tall, as we discovered at a recent nutrition visit. We plan on having a party next week to celebrate her birthday and Jacob's birthday at the same time. Jacob said he wanted a "super hero" party like he did last year and he thought Macayla wanted a "Dora" party. If she could talk, I wonder if she would agree. We sang "Happy Birthday" to her this morning, but she did not seem overly joyed by it. Who can blame her considering who was doing the singing? I am amazed at how time seems to slip away. It has been an amazing seven years. In one respect it has flown by, and in another respect Macayla's birth seems like eons ago. That was a day when Macayla passed through a birth canal and her daddy passed out! I guess a lot has happened since then. She's a big girl. She's gorgeous. We are so blessed by her and we celebrate the beautiful life God has given us in Macayla. 

Monday, May 05, 2008

Unpredictable Patterns

Where is God in the midst of suffering? Where is God in the midst of the chaos we can find ourselves in? Evil exists in this world, so how can a good and loving God allow it to happen?

It's hard to read the creation story in Genesis without the Darwin/evolution debate coming to mind. But it is well worth setting that debate in the background instead of the forefront since the creation story communicates so much more. Often people want to know if the world was created in six twenty-four hour days or not, but this misses the point. As J.P. Moreland observed, an all-powerful God could have created the universe in an immeasurable instant. The question should be, "Why did it take 6 days?" God purposefully uses a process over a given amount of time. It was intentional and done with care. A casual reading of Genesis 1 gives the reader a feeling that a literary pattern is being used each day of creation. God said "Let there be..." and "it was so." God saw that it was good. God separates. God labels. There was evening, there was morning, day... The casual reader will pick up on this pattern. However, a closer study shows that the pattern is not exactly a pattern. Patterns are predictable since they repeat, but in Genesis 1 the repetition of God's activity changes order and varies each day. In other words, it feels like a pattern but it is unpredictable from our perspective. Through this unpredictable pattern, God brings order to the chaos using His words. Each successive day sets foundations and connections for following days. When it is all done, God sees what He has made and says it is "very good." It was perfect. 
Since then, things changed. The story of Adam and Eve shows us that humanity made a choice to disobey God. The ability to choose had to exist in order for us to understand love, for love is only love when it can be chosen or denied. Unfortunately, we denied love and that brought a cosmic change in creation and us. That change brought suffering and death to the world. When faced with suffering and even our own bad choices, we may want to know where God is. Where is God when we suffer due to disease? Where is He in the midst of our chaos? He is right there. Our sin and suffering will not have the last word if we trust what God has done since Adam and Eve. Christ now offers re-creation and likewise utilizes a purposeful process over time. He speaks into our chaos with His Word, brings light, separates, labels, commands and brings order. Anytime I think I have learned a pattern of how God works in my life, He seems to change things up a bit and His patterns are unpredictable. He will not be put in a box. Christ's re-creation process is not always comfortable as he separates me from my bad habits and sins. It is not comfortable when Christ judges things in my life and shows me what needs to change. But there are times of discovery as I see how His activity on previous days have set the foundations and connections for today. He even uses the suffering I experience today to prepare me for tomorrow. It is a process over time and it is not always easy or the path I would have chosen. But my hope is that at the end, when I look back over all that God has done during the days of my life, I believe it will be "very good." For He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose and rest will be found in Christ.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Eyesight Surpassing Expectations

Macayla went for a check-up with the eye doctor. She is showing some deterioration in the optic nerve which is new for the doctor to report. Prior check-ups have merely shown slight changes and the optic never has always looked good. However, the doctor did state that he is impressed with the fact that Macayla's sight is doing as well as it is. She responds to light and can look at us at times when we talk to her. She seems to have difficulty focusing on objects, but I would guess she sees shapes and colors in good light. She definitely is drawn toward light sources. Overall, Macayla's function has surpassed most expectations. She is tall and has good weight. She smiles and laughs at things appropriately from time to time letting us know that she still has moments of cognitive processing of her surroundings. She is holding steady with her stomach and tube right now as well. Minimal bleeding and granulation and she tolerates all of her calories for now. I also have to say that she is a gorgeous little girl (which surpasses most expectations one should have for a child with my genetics)!