Not Listening In Church

In some political joking lately, comic Stephen Cobert stated that Obama couldn't have known what his preacher said because "we all know no one pays attention in church!" This is humorous simply because there is some truth to it. As I have read some of the accounts of Jesus after he rose from the tomb, it was apparent that his disciples had not really paid attention to all Jesus had told them earlier. I find it interesting that the disciples did not even recognize Jesus in their first encounters with the risen Lord. To Mary Magdalen, he looked like a gardener. To the the disciples on their way to Emmaus, he was simply a traveler. To Peter and others who were fishing in a boat, he was simply a spectator on the shore. Unfortunately, many of us have mistaken Jesus for someone or something other than what he truly is.

I have had some conversations with some folks lately that reject Christianity. Our discussions revealed they have vast misunderstandings of Christianity and Christ. They appealed to misinformed historical perspectives and presuppositions about God that were more comfortable than true. They worked from feeling and experience and shunned thought and beliefs. Their descriptions of Christianity was based on the abuses of those who call themselves Christians and not based on Christ. Unfortunately, they had not paid attention to the truth, but only to bad experiences or cliches. Like the first disciples immediately after the resurrection, it did not seem plausible to them. But thank God, the disciples figured out that the most sensational news possible is the truth. Thank God that they passed on this Good News and it spread throughout the world. 

I pray that we will not let our misunderstandings of Christ guide our lives this year. Mary recognized the gardener to be Christ when He spoke her name. The Emmaus-bound disciples recognized the traveler to be Christ when He broke bread with them. Peter recognized the spectator on the shore to be Christ when He told them where the fish were. If he had only been a gardener, traveler, or spectator and not Christ, then Jesus would have been a footnote in history at best. Instead, he is who he said he is; the risen Lord. When the disciples had a personal encounter with him, it changed everything. I pray that we all have that personal encounter with Christ to see past our misunderstandings to find the truth. The truth that it was Christ, not a moral code or religion, that died for our sins on a cross and rose from the dead. 

The Hope

We have had a difficult Easter week. Jennifer's grandmother died in a car accident on Tuesday. The Easter holiday will be difficult without Nanny as she always wanted her family to congregate around her dinner table at Easter after worship. This has been a struggle for Jacob as well and I will update his page soon. However, with Easter comes that ultimate truth and hope that comes from nowhere else. Nanny followed and trusted Christ. She knew that hope and reflected it to those who knew her. Good Friday marks the day that Christ removed the sting of sin and death forever as well as commemorates his own, abbreviated funeral. The great news is that a funeral is not the end of the story. Christ rose again on that first Easter Sunday and it is by that same power that Nanny and those of us who know Christ are transformed. It is by that power we know a funeral is not the end of our story either. We grieve, no doubt, but we grieve with hope, faith, and love. We stand at a funeral and our Lord stands with us weeping as he did at Lazarus' funeral. We stand at an empty tomb and discover the story and our very life has just begun. I hope all who read this know the Hope that Nanny did. For her, that Hope is now fulfilled and realized. We thank God that we were able to see His reflection in her life. We thank God that her funeral is not the end of her story. We thank God that it is He, and not death, that has the final word. 

Uncommon Needs

I have created another blog called Uncommon Needs to share some links and helpful hints that people have shared with us for the care of a special needs child. The smoaksignal blog is a bit too organic in format to make this type of information easy to find and hopefully this new blog will be set up according to subject matter. The entries will still be from most recent to oldest, but at the top of the page is a listing of categories that will take you to entries dealing with just those subjects. I did not want to reinvent the wheel here so I will be adding links to forums and information sites we have found helpful. We welcome any input that would be helpful to families with special needs. It is in its beginning stages, so there is more work needed to make it helpful. 

Recoil

We went to a funeral home yesterday to start some initial planning for a major step in Macayla’s journey. I will try to update the Uncommon Needs blog with the more technical information as it becomes available as part of the “End of Life” entries. It is so difficult to plan a funeral for a loved one and it is paralyzing for a parent to plan the funeral of a child. However, Macayla’s funeral is one of her needs. It is a need just as much as her wheelchair and medications. It is as much of a need as the quality time and love we share with her now. It is at once a need based on logistics and a need based on love. We struggled with taking the actual step of going to the funeral home, but once we did we felt a bit of a weight lifted. Overall, it was a helpful experience, much to the credit of Mr. Derksen who graciously listened and guided our thought process.

Our discussion led to the subject of caskets it was a moment that I could feel myself shrinking from. Walking into a “showroom” (so to speak) of caskets and pondering that for your daughter is daunting and doleful. We have some ideas of how we want to proceed in that area, but the strangest part was knowing the emotions this stirred and yet we did not express any of them while standing in a room full of caskets. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me for being so stoic.

This morning, I experienced a prayer moment that shed some light on my state of mind. I realized that I have been recoiling from the emotions for quite awhile. It is as if I had placed my hand on a stove burner and jerked away. Anytime I sense the emotional response to our situation, I recoil from it so that I can function. I have apparently gotten very good at it too. During prayer this morning, I sensed Christ saying, “Let it out.” I was reminded of how he wept at Lazarus’ tomb. He was not stoic or even sanguine since he knew that Lazarus would live again (John 11). He wept along side the people at the funeral. So, this morning I let it out in a cathartic burst. Even in the midst of tears I wanted to pull away and recoil from the pain and loss death brings, but Jesus reminded me that He did not pull away. He reminded me of the grief and anguish He felt as He approached the cross. He did not recoil from the pain. He did not recoil from the anguish. He embraced it and because he did, sin and death are defeated. Because He did not recoil, Macayla’s funeral marks her step into the ultimate life. Because He did not recoil, we catch glimpses of that ultimate life now. Recoiling from the pain has caused me to miss the greater perspective of life.