Camp New Hope 2010

Last week, we went back to Camp New Hope. This was our forth year going there and the first time we have been in the Fall. It was the first time going without Macayla. It was beautiful and difficult at the same time. The camp has a Garden of Hope, which is under construction, and it has a stone bench in it dedicated to Macayla.

It is hard to know how to feel about some things. Sometimes it is hard to identify the feelings you have. But Macayla loved that mountain and we are so glad she got to be on it so often. As hard as the week was, we found time to laugh, remember and make new memories.

Part of those memories include a family we met there. Sadie and her family spent the week there and we were fortunate to share time with them. Sadie has been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Aicardi-Goutieres Syndrome. It prevented her from developing on many levels but she was very aware of what was happening around her. She loves the sound of the zipper on her feeding pump's backpack. She would laugh so hard she couldn't breathe! She loved spinning in an office chair and riding on the Kubota rough-terrain vehicle. Jennifer and I got to hold her and it was good therapy for us. Sadie blessed us.

Jacob made friends with Sadie's brother, Sam, and they had fun playing games and fishing. Lily met her twin at the camp, a dog named Moe. We kept getting the two of them confused and had to make sure we were bringing home the correct dog!

As for Camp New Hope, they are feeling the economic pinch like many people and need financial support. The cabin needs some renovations to make the bathroom and kitchen accessible for wheelchairs and special-needs equipment. The renovation they have planned will cost around $60,000. The ongoing cost of hosting a family for a week is approximately $600. Donations of any size are tax deductible. What a unique Christmas gift to give! Your donation will contribute to helping over 40 families a year have a unique and amazing experience they could not have otherwise. Check out their site and donations can be done online.

Macayla's Soundtrack

Shortly after Mac went home, I compiled some songs to use in some home videos. These songs were meaningful to us and to Macayla. The CD is in Jennifer's car, which I happen to be driving today. I listened to it.

The "Bare Necessities" from Disney's Jungle Book was on there as was "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King. Macayla loved those movies and those songs. Even after she was immobile, I would help her dance to these songs by moving her hands to the rhythm (which was not too good considering I have no rhythm!) But she would smile so big. I miss dancing with my girl.

Another song on there is "Held" by Natalie Grant. It is from her 2005 Awaken CD. The lyrics to this song are about situations like ours and what it means for believers. One line always jumps out at me:

If hope is born of suffering;

If this is only the beginning,

Can we not wait for one hour

Watching for our Savior?

It always brings the picture to mind of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane asking His disciples to keep watch while He prayed. They kept falling asleep while Jesus agonized over what was coming. He asked them, "So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." (Mt. 26:40-41) They kept falling asleep as Jesus grieved over what was to come. The hope of salvation was about to be born in Christ's suffering and they slept. Jesus' prayer was the beginning of His suffering for our sin. It was the beginning of the Easter story that brings eternal life to those who believe and confess Christ as their Lord. But the disciples slept.

Certainly, Macayla's death was the beginning of eternity for her. Our lives on earth are but blips on a screen compared to the eternity we will face. Christ was very clear on this point. We either face an eternity with Him or an eternity separated from Him. His blood spilt on the cross atones for our sins, the sins that separate us from God. The suffering on the cross was a literal Hell on earth, yet so many of us let this reality slip past us as if we are asleep. Jesus' death and resurrection offers forgiveness and restoration, yet we sleep through this truth as well. We do not have to wait until our death bed to experience the eternity we are headed for. With Christ we can get tastes of heaven on earth, a preview of the glory that is to come, yet we sleep through this too. All too often I am so wrapped up in my circumstances that I sleep through the greater reality and truth of Christ.

Macayla's soundtrack reminded me to stay awake and pray. Keep watch for what my Savior is doing in my life and what He is calling me to do. It is bittersweet to listen to her music and remember her smiles and dancing. It is hard to say "Hakuna Matata" or "It Is Well with My Soul." But Macayla and her life had the "Fingerprints of God" all over them as she lived a "Life Less Ordinary." On hard days, I have to remember that God "Led Me" and so "I Will Praise [Him] in this Storm." When my blip of a life is over and enter eternity, Macayla will be there. We will see the abundant life Christ gave us, far beyond just the "Bare Necessities!" We will see that in our worst suffering on earth, we were indeed "Held" by nail-scared hands.