Macayla is continuing to do well with school and she does more for her teachers than she will for us at home. She eats foods for them she won't for us. She interacts in ways there that she won't at home. She is being like most kids, she puts on a show for others but not for us. That is comforting. She's a five year old after all!
Macayla's condition sunk in the other day, as it sometimes does. These are times when the reality of her condition and prognosis comes to the surface fresh and full of pain. I started thinking about how Macayla would go to heaven before we will (barring any unexpected departure on our part!) But the thought occurred to me, "Has Macayla seen enough of Jesus reflected in me to recognize Him when she sees Him?" I know that Scripture says that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. So, everyone will "know" Him when they see Him. But as one preacher said, some of those knees will be scraped as they are left no choice but to finally admit that Jesus is Lord. But at the heart of my question was that when Macayla gets to heaven will she see Jesus and say, "Oh, hi Lord, it's you. I saw your reflection in my family. How great it is to see you fully now."
But then I thought about the fact that all of us are "terminal." We will all die at some point regardless if it is at 12 or 92. Will my son recognize Jesus when he sees him because of what he saw in me? Will my wife? Will anyone who meets me? I'm ashamed to say that I'm a poor mirror. I feel about as reflective as cardboard most days. But it is the Refiner's fire that gets the impurities out of the precious metals so that they reflect the Refiner's image more clearly. I hope that I will surrender to that purifying work. I pray Jesus' reflection will shine a little more each day.
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