When It Rains Cats and Dogs, It Pours!

The rain pelted the window panes by the kitchen table where Jacob sculpted ducks, rabbits, and biscuits from play dough. Macayla was sleepy in her chair and was only half interested in the bright pink dough. I heard the rain begin to slack up a bit and as it did the sound of drops against the windows was replaced with barking and yapping. This is not an unusual sound in our neighborhood because there is a rogue pack of long-haired dachshunds that will wander onto our street from time to time. They bark. They poop in our driveway. They are annoying. I was at home with the kids by myself, so I was too busy to look outside to see what the little pack of Oscar Meyers was up too. But after about ten minutes of the constant barking, I looked outside. I see tails and short hind legs protruding from under our van near the front driver side. I ran outside and the short-legged demons of annoyance scattered. I went to the front of the van to discover they had chewed through a conduit of wires. Black, corrugated conduit and bits of wire were lying on the concrete. I pull out my keys and try to start the van. It turns over, but it won’t run! They had severed the power to the fuel pump and gauge. AAARRRGGG! In a fit of anger I so wanted to have a target practice session. I could even have the little critters stuffed and mounted in my den! But then it dawned on me, “Why were they so interested in the van?” They had been chasing something that ran up into the engine compartment and I had just turned the engine over several times! I cautiously raised the hood to find a huge, fluffy cat was sitting on top of the engine block. He hissed at me and ran off with the demonic wieners in pursuit. Lucky for him (and me) the engine belts and fan didn’t chop him to bits. Enough was enough. I called animal control for the first time in my life. ALL of the officers were in hazmat training. Hazmat training! I knew from my time in law enforcement that animal control usually only works from 8 to 5. (Since animals never cause any problems at night.) So, needless to say, the little van vandals got away. The van was dead and the rain began falling again. I didn’t let up for hours. When Jenny got home I went out into the rain to try and fix it, but it was dark and even with a flashlight, I couldn’t tell a black wire from a green wire. We had to play musical vehicles with her parents so I could get Macayla to a doctor’s appointment the next morning. But mark my words, this is not over. The animal control dispatcher reassured me that I have the legal right to protect myself and my property by any means necessary! Oh, I will miss dispatcher, I will! The bb gun is pumped up and ready!