Peanuts of Truth and Heartbreak

I was finishing up a phone call and it was right at bedtime. Jacob asked me if he could have some peanuts for a snack. Since it was bedtime and he had eaten a lot already, I told him no and then turned my attention back to the phone. Jacob then brought the peanut jar to me and asked again and I said no. He ran off. I finished my phone call and walked into the kitchen to find him looking like a chipmunk with full, bulging cheeks. I asked him what he was eating and he responded by shaking his head “no” and mumbling unintelligibly through his full mouth “nothing.” He lied. When his mouth was clear I again asked him what he was eating and he said it was a cereal bar. When he realized I was shocked that he would eat a whole cereal bar, he lied and said it was only half of a cereal bar. I made sure he remembered that I told him no to snacks and he remembered. Then he admitted that he was eating the peanuts. Long story short, the amazing thing was that when he was caught disobeying me he not only lied about it, but he told three more lies to cover up the first lie and he did it all without hesitation.
In the scheme of things, a mouth full of peanuts is not a big deal and I really wasn’t upset at all. But this is my first experience with Jacob boldly lying to me about something. He wasn’t trying to pass it off as a joke or simply flirt with deception. No, he went all out. What took me off guard were my feelings. I know that my child will lie to me or be disobedient at times. I know that being human he will sin and make bad choices from time to time. I knew this would happen and I know this will happen again. But it broke my heart. It broke my heart to watch my son boldly lie to my face. In a microcosmic way, I got a sense of how God feels when I boldly sin. He knows I will sin. He knows I will at times betray Him, but how it must break His heart when we do. How heart broken He must have been when His friend Peter betrayed Him on the night of His trial and denied Him three times! Since God has an infinite capacity for emotion, I can’t begin to imagine how much more His heartbreak is compared to mine in the kitchen. Maybe that is why there is such rejoicing in heaven when we repent. When we seek forgiveness and turn back to our Father, that infinite heartbreak is overcome by infinite rejoicing and mercy. Jacob’s choice to sneak some peanuts and lie about it is just “peanuts” compared to some of the more costly decisions he will face later in life. At bedtime prayers, he told God he was sorry. There was rejoicing in heaven and in Jacob’s room. I must admit that it was pretty cute to see him try to lie through his bulging cheeks!

School and Tube

Macayla and Jacob have started school. Macayla is in a multiple disabilities class at a different school from last year with other children that have a wide range of abilities. She has some great teachers and there is a nurse in the room to help with medications and feedings. We wish we could talk this nurse in coming to work for us in our home, but it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids in the class! Macayla has lit up for them some and they’ve already seen her laugh. She apparently likes music class which is no surprise. Jacob is at the same school as last year but just in another class. He has stayed with a couple of his friends from before and has some new ones. His teachers are the teachers he first had when we evacuated from New Orleans so it was good he got to have some familiar faces. They have always been a good match for him.
Macayla’s stomach contents have been clear for the last two weeks except for one day. That means that we probably identified the source of blood as her feeding tube track. Unfortunately, her tube is getting more granulation around it in spite of multiple cleanings each day and the application of the cream used around it. She is just predisposed to it I guess. It is great to know that we have identified the source and that we can treat it albeit a less than desirable situation for her. We may have to use silver nitrate on the tube site as much as every other day. Silver nitrate essentially burns the granulation away and it is not fun for her or us. We can numb the site, but I can’t imagine it is all that comfortable.