The Teacher

Sonny and Cher tried to capture the idea in their hippy way with "The Beat Goes On." The Byrds quoted it in their lyrics to "Turn, Turn, Turn!" The new year is upon us and this used to be a big deal to me in younger years, but now it simply means I have to be careful how I write the date for the next month. It used to mean new-years resolutions I would never keep. Now it means if I am not doing it already, there is nothing magical about January 1st that will make me start. It used to mean parties and the pursuit of debauchery, but now it means the pursuit of dinner, put the kids to bed and hope for a good night's sleep. It used to mean new possibilities, but now I see that any day is a new possibility and a gift from God.

We are blessed to have another year in marriage, and two wonderful kids. We are blessed to have had another year with our family. We have lost some family and gained some family. We have gained new friends. We have gained a few pounds and some gray hairs. We are blessed to know that the challenges we faced have been used by God to grow us and impact others. What does 2010 hold? The same as 2009. God will be in the midst of the circumstances that ebb and flow, change and challenge. Macayla will continue her digression. We do not know if she will see 2011 (in fact it is December 31st so 2010 is still in question), but she is full of surprises and God will be in them.

Long before Sonny & Chere or the Byrds, the Teacher captured the wisdom of ongoing time in the book of Ecclesiastes.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven - A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted..." Ecc. 3:1-2 NASB

The ancient Teacher who wrote Ecclesiastes saw the endlessness of pleasure seeking and that there truly is nothing new under the sun. He concluded rightly that wisdom is found in the reverence of God and following His commandments. My prayer for the new year, the new day, today, is that I will seek Him and follow the path He has for us. In spite of all that "changes" and repeats itself, Christ is forever! He does not change, but we need to and I thank Him for it.

Weekly Seizures

Macayla has been having grand mal seizures weekly now for the last three weeks. Today she had one after lunch and is finally passed out from the Diastat. We think that if we give her Diastat immediately after the first seizure she will pass out and not have any more. The last time I waited to give it after the second seizure (which is what you're supposed to do) she kept having them every two hours. Now, we just hope she will wake up seizure free.

Interestingly, this seizure started slowly and in a different way than usual. It was good because it gave me enough warning to get a chux pad and the suction machine ready in case she threw up at the end as she typically does. Fortunately, she did not throw up but kept having bad reflux for a while afterward. It's just more of the changes we see in her at this time of the year.

Merry Christmas in the Midst of the Yuk!

We certainly are a pitiful bunch in the Smoak house. Jennifer had a low-grade fever all last week but the docs could not figure out its cause. We think it was a sinus infection, but because of her symptoms, the hospital would not allow her to come back to work for seven days. Jacob brought home a virus from school and threw up quite a bit on that Friday. Not a fun way to start the weekend. After the weekend was over, I had the virus and twenty-four hours later Jennifer had it. Just in time for her to go back to work and she couldn't! All of our taste buds have been off ever since and Jacob still doesn't have his appetite back. Macayla has avoided it so far, but she has had some dark, puss-like ooze coming from her right ear. She has not had a fever but the ear is very sensitive and causing her pain. We started an antibiotic/steroid ear drop this week. After 36 hours the dark ooze has diminished. But we still have six more days of drops to administer. Her secretions in her nose and throat are still out of control and we have to suction her a lot as she is coughing and gagging so much. I wish I could make it all go away. Of course, none of my "old geezer" problems of gout or joint pain in my hands have ceased. My doctor wants me to get a sleep study (actually Jennifer wants me to more due to snoring!) and a nerve conduction test done as well.

Jennifer's grandmother and my grandparents are all experiencing failing health. Jennifer's grandmother is in the final stages of cancer and we are not sure how long she will be with us. My grandmother is struggling with Parkinson's and dementia among other things and my grandfather struggles to care for her.

In spite of these things, I have been more in the "Christmas spirit" this year than usual. I have to admit that past Christmases has been anti-climatic for me. As a believer, Christ is always with me and His grace is always a present gift. Don't get me wrong, I love the time with family and the wonderful feasts we have together, but the holiday itself has not been as captivating as it has been this year. I have experienced a hope and peace that indeed surpasses understanding. This is not to be confused with "positive thinking." In the midst of these things, I never consciously decided to utilized the so-called "power" of positive thinking to wade through. So many self-help gurus push people to smile their way past problems instead of actually dealing with them. No, we still have to deal with the vomit of stomach viruses, dying loved ones, and Macayla's annual end-of-the-year digression. It's just that Christ has reminded me once again that He is with us in the midst of it. He doesn't invite us to escape the struggles, but to face them; with His strength and for His glory. There was no room for Him at the little inn of Bethlehem, but there is room for Him in our hearts and minds. But so often I put him in the stable out back instead of giving Him his rightful place on the throne. The presence of His peace and joy this season has reminded me of His rightful place. Wise men still seek Him and even lowly shepherds can share the Good News.