The Continuous Love of God in Pain

You can have a mixture of comfort and fear if you read the eleventh chapter of John's Gospel. It is the story where Mary and Martha's brother, Lazarus, became ill. They sent word to Jesus who was at a distance. This story can stir up fear because upon hearing the news, Jesus did not come to Lazarus. He did not heal him. He purposefully waited for two days after receiving the news before taking action. As a result, Lazarus died from his illness. We don't like a God who would do that. We want a God who will jump into action and save the day!

Upon hearing the report of Lazarus' illness, Jesus responded, "This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it." Yet, as we read on, Lazarus died. Now, for those familiar with the story, we know that Jesus showed up after Lazarus had been buried and Jesus raised him from the dead. That's amazing, of course, but experience tells us that Jesus does not perform this miracle very often. It is even a rare occurrence in the Bible. So, this makes us uneasy about God. He is not a tame God. We cannot compel Him to do things our way and in our time of need, that makes it hard to know from where our comfort will come. Jesus said this illness would be for the glory of God and for His glory. But if we are honest, we just want our loved one healed. We are less interested in honoring God. We just want Jesus to save the day...right now...in our way.

But John includes something interesting in the original language. Right after Jesus declares this will result in God's glory, John wrote, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he [Lazarus] was sick, He then stayed two days longer in that place where He was." (John 11:5-6 NASB) John did not have to include the line, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus." He could have just reported that Jesus remained where he was for two days. But there is something important in this line and it does not come through in our English translation.

In English, we are interested in when the action of a verb takes place; past, present or future. As in "I loved" or "I love" or "I will love." But the Greeks were more interested in the kind of action. Their verbs tell us if the action was ongoing and this was important to them. It needs to be important for us in this verse. When John wrote, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus," he could have used a form of the verb that would translate just "loved." But John used a tense in Greek that is reserved for continuous action. The form of the word love should really be translated, "Now Jesus was loving Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was."

This small difference gives us a better feel for the emphasis John is giving. Jesus was loving Martha, Mary and Lazarus in the midst of His seeming nonresponse. Jesus knew the full outcome of the situation. He knows it for ours as well. He even knows it for the people He does not raise from the tomb like Lazarus. He knows it for those He heals or does not heal. He knows the full outcome for those left behind as well. When pain and loss come, we often look to Christ as Mary and Martha did and say, "Lord, if You had been here...if you had just stepped in and intervened, then this would not have happened." Certainly, He knows this. But He knows better than any of us where the true miracle lies in our situation. He could simply fix it and sometimes He does. But maybe the greater miracle is us walking through our situation in a way that glorifies Him and leads others to Him. Maybe the greatest miracle is the change our situation will bring to our lives and the lives of others. Jesus was loving Martha, Mary and Lazarus through His delay. Is He not doing the same for His other disciples? His love is continuous and His response to His disciples' struggles, whatever that response is, will always be in that love.

Thanks to Him and to You

I honestly am not sure what the direction of this blog should be now. It's been almost 5 months since our little girl was here. I miss her so much. This blog has been helpful to me and, as some have indicated, to others as well.

Macayla's story has shaped it and given an opportunity to share our experience, some information, and most of all how Christ has been at work in our lives through this. Now that she is healed, the story has turned in a new direction. Macayla - it is amazing how distant her name can feel sometimes - Macayla has taken a leap into the best story of all. Meanwhile, the rest of us look for what is next. We are not sure what lies ahead or how to even feel about going there without her. It just hurts.

The last thing I want this blog to turn into is a chronicle of grief. It is just hard to write about Macayla without acknowledging the pain. This blog has followed our journey, and the journey has come to where we knew it would, though we pleaded and prayed for something different. Christ is still at work in our lives, of course. He has provided comfort in amazing ways and He has illuminated our hearts and minds to His truth in the midst of this. We wonder if we could have learned this truth another way. I think we could. I wish we had, but this is the way it happened. "What if..." and "If only..." are the enemy here.

I will pray about the future of this blog and how or if it should continue. We cannot express adequately how much we appreciate all of you who have prayed, supported and loved on us for the last five years. I pray any and all who read this realize how awesome Christ is and how He has used you to bring comfort to us. I know that Macayla is whole again. I praise Him for that. I praise Him for working through so many people like you to take care of us. I hope you know that Macayla was born for the glory of God and that His works might be displayed in her life. I hope we can all remember we were born for the same purpose!