Frustrating!

Macayla has not been sleeping very well for the last two weeks. This week was worse than last. For three nights in a row, she has stayed awake until around 1 a.m. and then wakes up a couple of times before sunrise and either gets out of the bed or tries to. This is dangerous for her and so we end up sleeping in her bed to keep her safe. Macayla’s crawling has become labored and she falls 90% of the time from the crawling position. Then on Tuesday night, Jacob couldn’t sleep because of an ear infection. So, Jennifer and I were swapping children throughout the night trying to get them to sleep. It gets quite frustrating. I get frustrated with the kids, but they can’t help it so I get frustrated with myself for being frustrated at them. At 1:30 in the morning, when you are frustrated about your frustration, you suddenly find yourself thinking about how much you really want to be at the beach. Alone. For a month. But then you feel guilty for wanting to just throw your hands up and run away from your family. This guilt, of course, is frustrating. But in reality, it is mainly because of sleep depravation that there is so much frustration. After a good 4 hours of semi-solid sleep, the world is bright, new and full of possibility! Oh, wait, that’s only after 4 hours of semi-solid sleep and half a pot of coffee. Then the world is bright, new and full of possibility!
But in spite of a few sleeping issues, things have been good. Macayla has been doing well. She has a great nurse that comes two days a week. (We wish it could be more.) Her sight and memory are holding on, though they are challenged. We went to Charleston this past weekend and it was a good trip down memory lane for Jennifer and I, as that is where we met and dated. Jacob enjoyed seeing the Citadel. The barracks looked like castles to him, but they were kind of lame because they didn’t have any fire-breathing dragons in them. We got to swim with the kids and play in Charleston with Jennifer’s parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle and her cousin who is finishing up his senior year at the Citadel. It was fun. But still, part of me is still longing for a beach trip with the four “S’s”: sun, sand, surf and sleep. Make that five “S’s”: sun, sand, surf, sleep and sleep.