Astray

I often feel like circling the wagons. There are times when I want to keep Macayla home and not go out with her and notice all the stares. There is a difference between someone noticing Macayla and someone staring at Macayla. The stares I struggle with are the horrified stares as if Macayla is a monster. The intrigued stare as if they are looking at an alien recovered from Area 51. The “I’m going to vomit” stare because there is actual drool coming from Macayla’s mouth. Usually, I hardly notice the stares, but there are times that I just want to keep Macayla at home and away from all that is out there. It’s hard to tell if it is just exhaustion or grief or just a big mix of both. But my wife is such a good balance for my circle-the-wagons mentality. She always reminds me that Macayla has a purpose in life just like the rest of us. She needs to be out there as much as she can, experiencing what she can, and impacting the world whenever and wherever she can. My wife reminds me that those stares are opportunities to start a conversation and let people know that Macayla is a sweet little girl with a purpose. It is an opportunity to share what God is doing in her life.
I have been studying Psalm 23. It is famous for funerals, but that is not its only purpose. It is about life. It starts with, “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.” This poem starts where life as a Christ-follower starts. It starts by clearly stating who God is which indicates who we are and then it speaks of rest. The Lord is a shepherd. One who guides, protects, provides, and prepares. By sheer logic, if we call him our shepherd, we are calling ourselves sheep. Sheep are the dumbest livestock one can own. They will wonder away from the safety of the flock and expose themselves to predators as well as stray away from the shepherd and all he has to offer. The rest it speaks of is not an afternoon nap, but rest is a metaphor for trusting in who God is and in the purpose he has for our life. This Psalm was written directly out of the experiences of a shepherd and a king named David. His life taught him that people are like sheep; we have all gone astray. We have wondered away from the reality and truth of who God is, who we are, and the purposes for which we exist. Life as a Christ-follower starts and even grows by coming to grips with that reality on a daily basis. I must admit that I often don’t trust, I don’t rest, in the reality of who God is and the purpose he has for Macayla and our family. But the truth is that even when we are in the valley of the shadow of death, that doesn’t change that purpose. If anything, it’s in a dark valley that the light of Christ becomes stark. Macayla has a purpose. It may be to melt the stare of one person’s heart so that they when they look at her they won't see some strange carnival exhibit or refugee from Area 51. They will see Christ and all He made Macayla to be.