Peanuts of Truth and Heartbreak

I was finishing up a phone call and it was right at bedtime. Jacob asked me if he could have some peanuts for a snack. Since it was bedtime and he had eaten a lot already, I told him no and then turned my attention back to the phone. Jacob then brought the peanut jar to me and asked again and I said no. He ran off. I finished my phone call and walked into the kitchen to find him looking like a chipmunk with full, bulging cheeks. I asked him what he was eating and he responded by shaking his head “no” and mumbling unintelligibly through his full mouth “nothing.” He lied. When his mouth was clear I again asked him what he was eating and he said it was a cereal bar. When he realized I was shocked that he would eat a whole cereal bar, he lied and said it was only half of a cereal bar. I made sure he remembered that I told him no to snacks and he remembered. Then he admitted that he was eating the peanuts. Long story short, the amazing thing was that when he was caught disobeying me he not only lied about it, but he told three more lies to cover up the first lie and he did it all without hesitation.
In the scheme of things, a mouth full of peanuts is not a big deal and I really wasn’t upset at all. But this is my first experience with Jacob boldly lying to me about something. He wasn’t trying to pass it off as a joke or simply flirt with deception. No, he went all out. What took me off guard were my feelings. I know that my child will lie to me or be disobedient at times. I know that being human he will sin and make bad choices from time to time. I knew this would happen and I know this will happen again. But it broke my heart. It broke my heart to watch my son boldly lie to my face. In a microcosmic way, I got a sense of how God feels when I boldly sin. He knows I will sin. He knows I will at times betray Him, but how it must break His heart when we do. How heart broken He must have been when His friend Peter betrayed Him on the night of His trial and denied Him three times! Since God has an infinite capacity for emotion, I can’t begin to imagine how much more His heartbreak is compared to mine in the kitchen. Maybe that is why there is such rejoicing in heaven when we repent. When we seek forgiveness and turn back to our Father, that infinite heartbreak is overcome by infinite rejoicing and mercy. Jacob’s choice to sneak some peanuts and lie about it is just “peanuts” compared to some of the more costly decisions he will face later in life. At bedtime prayers, he told God he was sorry. There was rejoicing in heaven and in Jacob’s room. I must admit that it was pretty cute to see him try to lie through his bulging cheeks!