What I Want for Christmas...

Jacob and I were in the kitchen making pizza dough. After we had kneaded the dough and got it ready for storage, Jacob was washing his hands in the sink. Out of the blue, he says, "Dad, I think I know a way we can cure Macayla." 

I said, "How is that?"

He said, "We can tell Santa that is what we want for Christmas and he probably has some kind of magical thing that can get rid of the Battens."

I responded, "Well, I think Santa would tell us to rely on God because Santa's magic can't do that. He would want us to let God decide when He will heal her."

Jacob asked, "God is going to heal her?"

"Yes, Jacob," I responded. "He will either heal her while she is with us, or He will heal her when she is in heaven."

"Well, I want Him to heal her when she with us," Jacob said.

"Me, too."

"Why doesn't He heal her now?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know Jacob," I answered. I was thinking at that moment about the fact that we are in a fallen world and that if God intervened on every disease and every tragedy, the intervention would never stop. Instead, He has addressed the problem by bringing a cure for a fallen world through Christ at the cross and tomb and has given humanity time to receive that gift before over turning everything at the end with a new heaven and new earth. Our hope lies in the fact that death and hurt will be no more. This hope is not "wishful thinking" but assurance of that which is to come. But, I didn't think I could explain all of that over pizza dough to a five year old. The fact is, I don't ultimately know why God intervenes in some cases and not in others. I don't know what the greatest miracle of Macayla's life will be. Will it be her healing or will it be how her life will touch and change others? So, all I could answer Jacob with is, "I don't know."

But I asked him, "Do you think you could pray about that?"

Jacob answered, "Yes." Several hours later at bedtime, on his own, Jacob prayed that God would stop Macayla's seizures and take her Battens away. That is my prayer as well. But, Jennifer and I must admit that if her healing means she must go to heaven, then we selfishly tell God, "Heal her, but not today." We have to pray for Him to give us peace and reliance on His wisdom and timing as it will be infinitely better for Macayla than ours. Still, Jacob, Jennifer and I really want Macayla cured, with us, for Christmas.