Attachments

I was in the grocery store not too long ago and like most stores, there is constant background music playing because we Americans can’t stand silence. Anyway, I heard a song by Jack Johnson begin as I turned down the bread isle. It was from the Curious George soundtrack and I had used that song in one of our home videos of the kids. As the song played, images of Macayla in the home video I had made came flowing with that song. I find it amazing how powerfully a song can so vividly attach a person or time in our lives to our memories. For me it is as powerful attachment as the sense of smell can produce. Smells of a grandparent’s home can bring back a flood of memories from childhood. For me, I am finding that every song I use in a home video becomes another sinew attaching Macayla to my memories. When I hear these songs now on the radio or at the grocery store, I can see vivid images of Macayla and Jacob playing in the carport or watching a show at Disney. This is good and bad. There are times when I welcome these images and the sweet memories they bring. But there are times when I grieve more because of these images. It’s hard to predict the emotional response to them. But in the end, I’m glad now and I’m sure I will be in the future to have these unexpected moments of memories when one of these songs will play on the radio, in a grocery store, or elevator. It was sweet and uplifting the day I heard Jack Johnson on the bread isle. So much so, that I was angered as that moment of joy was interrupted by a call over the speakers for a price check that drowned the music out for a few seconds. But the joy returned as the price-check ended and the speakers once again poured forth music that is so richly attached to memories of Macayla.